10 Steps to Communicate a Pastoral Transition at Your Church
The decision to let a pastor go is never an easy one. But once the decision has been made, it's important to handle the situation with grace, dignity, and respect.
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The decision to let a pastor go is never an easy one. But once the decision has been made, it's important to handle the situation with grace, dignity, and respect. After all, this is a person's livelihood we're talking about.
We will say from the outset that there are a variety of reasons why a church might need to let a pastor go. In some cases, it might be due to financial reasons, while in others, it might be due to moral failings or differences in vision for the future.
Whatever the reason, there are certain key steps that church leadership must take when communicating a pastor is being let go. How this is done can make all the difference in the world. It sets the tone for how the pastor will be perceived by the congregation, as well as how the church will be perceived by the community.
Remember your church and church staff are paying close attention in these difficult situations and will naturally connect the treatment of the outgoing pastor to how they, as a parishioner, might be treated in the future. When people do not feel safe in community, they will often go one of two ways:
Performance: If they feel like their job is on the line, they will likely go into overdrive to prove themselves and their value to the organization. This often happens in churches when staff feels like they need to take sides or prove their loyalty.
Protection: The other reaction people have is to hunker down, keep their heads down, not make any waves, and just try to ride it out until things blow over. This is often the case with churches going through a difficult season.
Neither are healthy reactions and will only serve to further divide the church. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, both responses are versions of hiding and are born out of fear. The key for church leaders is to help people feel safe so they can do their jobs effectively during these difficult times. Utilizing these steps brings greater clarity and unity to a church in an otherwise chaotic time.
1. Pray for guidance.
This is probably the most important step of all. It might seem like a no-brainer, but it's important to remember that prayer should be the foundation of all our decisions as Christians. We need to pray for wisdom and guidance as we make this difficult decision, and we need to pray for the pastor and their family who will be affected. Prayer unites and grounds us as a church family, and it gives us the strength to move forward.
2. Put together a transition package for the pastor.
There are two areas to consider in terms of creating a transition package for the outgoing pastor.
Financial Transition: A severance package is something that should be done in consultation with your church's legal counsel. Hopefully your church has already developed a policy regarding severance. Be fair and generous in your severance, keeping in mind that this person will likely be looking for another job soon as well as the difficult road for transitioning pastors in general. If at all possible, try to work with the pastor on what would be an ideal severance package so that they can provide for their family during this difficult time.
Emotional Transition: This is an area where churches often drop the ball. A pastor who has been let go from their church is going through a very difficult time emotionally. There will be feelings of shame, rejection, and even depression. It's important to be sensitive to these emotions and to provide resources for the pastor to help them through this tough time. Unfortunately, many pastors feel like they have nowhere to turn when they are facing these kinds of challenges. As a church leader, you have the opportunity to be a source of hope and encouragement for the pastor during this difficult time. This is where engaging Pastoral Transitions to serve the outgoing pastor and their family in the areas of a Career pivot, Coaching, and Counseling will be beneficial.
3. Meet with the pastor privately to break the news.
This is not a conversation that should be had over email or in front of other people. Be respectful and compassionate in your delivery. Especially if you are entering a situation where news of their release will come as a surprise, give them time to process the information and ask any questions they might have.
We suggest starting small and having the conversation open up to a larger group if necessary. No one wants to walk into a boardroom and be blindsided by the news in front of a large group of leadership. Because of the friendships in the room, there will likely be shame and blame that will come out if someone is caught off guard. This is a time for everyone to be on the same page and work from a place of unity, not division.
4. Give the pastor time to process the news and say goodbye to the congregation.
There are certain situations that demand an immediate resignation, and there are others that allow for a more gentle transition. It's important to consider what is best for both the pastor and the congregation.
In many cases, it might be beneficial to give the pastor some time to say goodbye to their congregation in a way that is respectful and dignified. Depending on what the conditions are concerning their release, you might even consider allowing them to preach their final sermon.
But also be aware of how you are processing the transition. When the transition is prompted by a moral failure, there could be anger, disappointment, and even a sense of betrayal. Even in situations where anger is justified, it's important to be mindful of how you express it and to whom you express it.
Time is a buffer that allows us to process our emotions and to act out of wisdom instead of reacting out of emotion.
5. Work with the pastor to develop a communication plan.
It's important that everyone is on the same page about what will be said and how it will be said. Be sensitive to the fact that this will be a difficult message for many people to hear. The news that a pastor is being let go from their church can come as quite a shock to the congregation. It can be difficult to know what to say or how to say it.
As a church leader, it is important to be thoughtful and prayerful in your communication so that the body of Christ can remain united. Be as honest as possible about why the decision was made while maintaining the privacy and dignity of the outgoing pastor.
Again, this is a difficult conversation, but it's important, to be honest about why the pastor is being let go. Vagueness will only serve to create more rumors and speculation. Be upfront and truthful about the situation while also maintaining a spirit of grace and compassion.
6. Celebrate what God has done through the pastor.
Even though the pastor is no longer going to be serving in a leadership role at your church, it's important to celebrate what God has done through them during their time of service. To the extent possible, make it public and make it a priority.
This is a time to be gracious and thankful for all that the pastor has done for your church. If there are specific things that you are thankful for, make sure to mention them.
This is also a good time to encourage other members of the congregation to express their gratitude to the pastor for their service. Leverage those in your congregation with gifts of encouragement to write letters, bring meals, or otherwise serve the pastor and their family during this time.
This is a difficult transition for everyone involved, so it's important to be as supportive as possible. As a leadership team, you can help buffer the situation through a number of ways such as writing a letter of recommendation, having a going away party, or even hosting a farewell service. Whatever you do, make sure that it is something that celebrates the contributions of the pastor during their time of service at your church.
7. Help the pastor transition out of their role gracefully.
In the immediate, there is a lot of emotion and pressure for everyone involved. We suggest taking a long-term view of a short-term situation. What this means is that while it's natural to want to quickly move on from this difficult situation, "do what needs to be done and move on," it's important to take the time to do things well. This is a difficult time for the outgoing pastor and their family. They need your support and grace as they transition out of their role.
Fast forward to how you will feel one year out, five years out, and ten years out. How you handle this situation today will have an impact on your relationship with the pastor and their family down the road, as well as your church family.
8. Be prepared for pushback.
When you work with people, the adage is true that you can make some of the people happy some of the time, but you can't make all of the people happy all of the time. When it comes to making a change in leadership at your church, this is especially true.
There will be those who are pleased with the decision and those who are not. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who is unhappy with the decision.
Listening in this season is more important than ever. If you have done your due diligence and prayerfully considered the decision to let the pastor go, then trust that God is leading you and be confident in your decision. The key is to remain firm in your conviction that this is the best decision for the church and to move forward with grace.
As a personal encouragement during these difficult times, it is helpful to remind yourself why this decision needed to be made in the first place and know that in the future, everyone will be better off because of it, even the outgoing pastor.
If the church or the position was not a fit, releasing them is actually a kind thing to do. If there was a moral failure of some kind, setting the pastor in the path of the Divine and His restoration is the best thing you can do. If the letting go of the pastor was for financial reasons, remember that it is always better to be financially healthy and have a solid future than to maintain the status quo and risk other fallout later.
There will be many people who want to give you advice on how to handle this situation. Some of it will be good, and some of it will be bad. The key is to sift through all of the advice, prayerfully consider what is best for your church, and then move forward with confidence.
9. Keep lines of communication open.
Once the pastor has transitioned out of their role, it's important to stay in touch. By engaging a ministry like Pastoral Transitions that will be walking with the transitioning pastor for their future steps, you have simplified your role to simply be one of encouragement and friendship.
Schedule regular check-ins with the pastor to see how they are doing. These can be quarterly, bi-annual, or even annually. The important thing is to keep the lines of communication open so that you can continue to support the pastor and their family during this difficult time. Whether it is spoken or not, they will want to know that you care about them and that you are still there for them, even though they are no longer in a leadership role at your church.
10. Don't forget to check in with the spouse and family.
The spouse and family will likely be going through a lot of different emotions as they adjust to this new season in their life. They have likely spent a season both in the spotlight and in the shadows.
The Spotlight: When you are the spouse of someone in ministry, you are often in the spotlight. You are expected to attend all the church functions, be involved in your spouse's ministry, and generally be a supportive partner.
The Shadows: Wherever there is a spotlight, there is also a shadow. This is especially true as the spouse of a pastor. Your spouse is busy with “church stuff,” and you can feel like you are on the back burner. You can feel like your needs are not being met, and your relationship with your spouse can suffer.
This transition can be especially difficult for the family because they are losing their place in the spotlight and may feel like they are being pushed into the shadows. It is important to check in with them, see how they are doing, and let them know that they are still loved and valued members of the church family.
Especially when it comes to the spouse, they will likely be defensive and protective of their family. In some cases, they may even be angry with the church. Regardless of what they are feeling, don't let that keep you from checking in.
If there are specific things that you can do to help them during this transition, make sure to do them. This might include offering financial assistance, helping to find a new job, or providing counseling resources.
Don't ever assume that all of the communication is taking place through the transitioning pastor.
Many times it might be best to have the spouse of someone in church leadership, like a pastor or elder's wife, come alongside the family during this time. But we would also caution that this does not preclude church leadership from also checking in and offering support.
Stay the Course and Build the Church
The decision to let a pastor go is never an easy one. There will always be difficult conversations and hurt feelings. But if it is done with grace, compassion, and wisdom, it can be a time of growth for both the church and the pastor.
What this transition means for them will be different for each family, so it's important to take the time to check in with them and see how they are doing. This is a time when they will need the support of their church family more than ever.
For some families, this may be a time to move on to another church. For others, it may mean staying put and weathering the storm. Either way, it's important to be there for them and offer whatever support you can.
Pastoral Transitions exists to help churches and pastors through this difficult time. We provide resources, coaching, and consulting to both churches and pastors during a time of transition. If you would like more information about our services, please visit our website or contact us.
What other steps do you think are important for church leadership to take when communicating a pastor is being let go? Let us know at talk@pastoraltransitions.com.
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After going through his own pastoral transition out of ministry, Matt Davis learned the difficulty of this season and is seeking to bring grace and healing to ministries by bringing empathy and wisdom in this space. He lives in beautiful Lexington, Kentucky with his wife Marilee, and their three kids Noah, Jed, and Karis, along with multiple animals.
The decision to let a pastor go is never an easy one. But once the decision has been made, it's important to handle the situation with grace, dignity, and respect. After all, this is a person's livelihood we're talking about.
We will say from the outset that there are a variety of reasons why a church might need to let a pastor go. In some cases, it might be due to financial reasons, while in others, it might be due to moral failings or differences in vision for the future.
Whatever the reason, there are certain key steps that church leadership must take when communicating a pastor is being let go. How this is done can make all the difference in the world. It sets the tone for how the pastor will be perceived by the congregation, as well as how the church will be perceived by the community.
Remember your church and church staff are paying close attention in these difficult situations and will naturally connect the treatment of the outgoing pastor to how they, as a parishioner, might be treated in the future. When people do not feel safe in community, they will often go one of two ways:
Performance: If they feel like their job is on the line, they will likely go into overdrive to prove themselves and their value to the organization. This often happens in churches when staff feels like they need to take sides or prove their loyalty.
Protection: The other reaction people have is to hunker down, keep their heads down, not make any waves, and just try to ride it out until things blow over. This is often the case with churches going through a difficult season.
Neither are healthy reactions and will only serve to further divide the church. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, both responses are versions of hiding and are born out of fear. The key for church leaders is to help people feel safe so they can do their jobs effectively during these difficult times. Utilizing these steps brings greater clarity and unity to a church in an otherwise chaotic time.
1. Pray for guidance.
This is probably the most important step of all. It might seem like a no-brainer, but it's important to remember that prayer should be the foundation of all our decisions as Christians. We need to pray for wisdom and guidance as we make this difficult decision, and we need to pray for the pastor and their family who will be affected. Prayer unites and grounds us as a church family, and it gives us the strength to move forward.
2. Put together a transition package for the pastor.
There are two areas to consider in terms of creating a transition package for the outgoing pastor.
Financial Transition: A severance package is something that should be done in consultation with your church's legal counsel. Hopefully your church has already developed a policy regarding severance. Be fair and generous in your severance, keeping in mind that this person will likely be looking for another job soon as well as the difficult road for transitioning pastors in general. If at all possible, try to work with the pastor on what would be an ideal severance package so that they can provide for their family during this difficult time.
Emotional Transition: This is an area where churches often drop the ball. A pastor who has been let go from their church is going through a very difficult time emotionally. There will be feelings of shame, rejection, and even depression. It's important to be sensitive to these emotions and to provide resources for the pastor to help them through this tough time. Unfortunately, many pastors feel like they have nowhere to turn when they are facing these kinds of challenges. As a church leader, you have the opportunity to be a source of hope and encouragement for the pastor during this difficult time. This is where engaging Pastoral Transitions to serve the outgoing pastor and their family in the areas of a Career pivot, Coaching, and Counseling will be beneficial.
3. Meet with the pastor privately to break the news.
This is not a conversation that should be had over email or in front of other people. Be respectful and compassionate in your delivery. Especially if you are entering a situation where news of their release will come as a surprise, give them time to process the information and ask any questions they might have.
We suggest starting small and having the conversation open up to a larger group if necessary. No one wants to walk into a boardroom and be blindsided by the news in front of a large group of leadership. Because of the friendships in the room, there will likely be shame and blame that will come out if someone is caught off guard. This is a time for everyone to be on the same page and work from a place of unity, not division.
4. Give the pastor time to process the news and say goodbye to the congregation.
There are certain situations that demand an immediate resignation, and there are others that allow for a more gentle transition. It's important to consider what is best for both the pastor and the congregation.
In many cases, it might be beneficial to give the pastor some time to say goodbye to their congregation in a way that is respectful and dignified. Depending on what the conditions are concerning their release, you might even consider allowing them to preach their final sermon.
But also be aware of how you are processing the transition. When the transition is prompted by a moral failure, there could be anger, disappointment, and even a sense of betrayal. Even in situations where anger is justified, it's important to be mindful of how you express it and to whom you express it.
Time is a buffer that allows us to process our emotions and to act out of wisdom instead of reacting out of emotion.
5. Work with the pastor to develop a communication plan.
It's important that everyone is on the same page about what will be said and how it will be said. Be sensitive to the fact that this will be a difficult message for many people to hear. The news that a pastor is being let go from their church can come as quite a shock to the congregation. It can be difficult to know what to say or how to say it.
As a church leader, it is important to be thoughtful and prayerful in your communication so that the body of Christ can remain united. Be as honest as possible about why the decision was made while maintaining the privacy and dignity of the outgoing pastor.
Again, this is a difficult conversation, but it's important, to be honest about why the pastor is being let go. Vagueness will only serve to create more rumors and speculation. Be upfront and truthful about the situation while also maintaining a spirit of grace and compassion.
6. Celebrate what God has done through the pastor.
Even though the pastor is no longer going to be serving in a leadership role at your church, it's important to celebrate what God has done through them during their time of service. To the extent possible, make it public and make it a priority.
This is a time to be gracious and thankful for all that the pastor has done for your church. If there are specific things that you are thankful for, make sure to mention them.
This is also a good time to encourage other members of the congregation to express their gratitude to the pastor for their service. Leverage those in your congregation with gifts of encouragement to write letters, bring meals, or otherwise serve the pastor and their family during this time.
This is a difficult transition for everyone involved, so it's important to be as supportive as possible. As a leadership team, you can help buffer the situation through a number of ways such as writing a letter of recommendation, having a going away party, or even hosting a farewell service. Whatever you do, make sure that it is something that celebrates the contributions of the pastor during their time of service at your church.
7. Help the pastor transition out of their role gracefully.
In the immediate, there is a lot of emotion and pressure for everyone involved. We suggest taking a long-term view of a short-term situation. What this means is that while it's natural to want to quickly move on from this difficult situation, "do what needs to be done and move on," it's important to take the time to do things well. This is a difficult time for the outgoing pastor and their family. They need your support and grace as they transition out of their role.
Fast forward to how you will feel one year out, five years out, and ten years out. How you handle this situation today will have an impact on your relationship with the pastor and their family down the road, as well as your church family.
8. Be prepared for pushback.
When you work with people, the adage is true that you can make some of the people happy some of the time, but you can't make all of the people happy all of the time. When it comes to making a change in leadership at your church, this is especially true.
There will be those who are pleased with the decision and those who are not. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who is unhappy with the decision.
Listening in this season is more important than ever. If you have done your due diligence and prayerfully considered the decision to let the pastor go, then trust that God is leading you and be confident in your decision. The key is to remain firm in your conviction that this is the best decision for the church and to move forward with grace.
As a personal encouragement during these difficult times, it is helpful to remind yourself why this decision needed to be made in the first place and know that in the future, everyone will be better off because of it, even the outgoing pastor.
If the church or the position was not a fit, releasing them is actually a kind thing to do. If there was a moral failure of some kind, setting the pastor in the path of the Divine and His restoration is the best thing you can do. If the letting go of the pastor was for financial reasons, remember that it is always better to be financially healthy and have a solid future than to maintain the status quo and risk other fallout later.
There will be many people who want to give you advice on how to handle this situation. Some of it will be good, and some of it will be bad. The key is to sift through all of the advice, prayerfully consider what is best for your church, and then move forward with confidence.
9. Keep lines of communication open.
Once the pastor has transitioned out of their role, it's important to stay in touch. By engaging a ministry like Pastoral Transitions that will be walking with the transitioning pastor for their future steps, you have simplified your role to simply be one of encouragement and friendship.
Schedule regular check-ins with the pastor to see how they are doing. These can be quarterly, bi-annual, or even annually. The important thing is to keep the lines of communication open so that you can continue to support the pastor and their family during this difficult time. Whether it is spoken or not, they will want to know that you care about them and that you are still there for them, even though they are no longer in a leadership role at your church.
10. Don't forget to check in with the spouse and family.
The spouse and family will likely be going through a lot of different emotions as they adjust to this new season in their life. They have likely spent a season both in the spotlight and in the shadows.
The Spotlight: When you are the spouse of someone in ministry, you are often in the spotlight. You are expected to attend all the church functions, be involved in your spouse's ministry, and generally be a supportive partner.
The Shadows: Wherever there is a spotlight, there is also a shadow. This is especially true as the spouse of a pastor. Your spouse is busy with “church stuff,” and you can feel like you are on the back burner. You can feel like your needs are not being met, and your relationship with your spouse can suffer.
This transition can be especially difficult for the family because they are losing their place in the spotlight and may feel like they are being pushed into the shadows. It is important to check in with them, see how they are doing, and let them know that they are still loved and valued members of the church family.
Especially when it comes to the spouse, they will likely be defensive and protective of their family. In some cases, they may even be angry with the church. Regardless of what they are feeling, don't let that keep you from checking in.
If there are specific things that you can do to help them during this transition, make sure to do them. This might include offering financial assistance, helping to find a new job, or providing counseling resources.
Don't ever assume that all of the communication is taking place through the transitioning pastor.
Many times it might be best to have the spouse of someone in church leadership, like a pastor or elder's wife, come alongside the family during this time. But we would also caution that this does not preclude church leadership from also checking in and offering support.
Stay the Course and Build the Church
The decision to let a pastor go is never an easy one. There will always be difficult conversations and hurt feelings. But if it is done with grace, compassion, and wisdom, it can be a time of growth for both the church and the pastor.
What this transition means for them will be different for each family, so it's important to take the time to check in with them and see how they are doing. This is a time when they will need the support of their church family more than ever.
For some families, this may be a time to move on to another church. For others, it may mean staying put and weathering the storm. Either way, it's important to be there for them and offer whatever support you can.
Pastoral Transitions exists to help churches and pastors through this difficult time. We provide resources, coaching, and consulting to both churches and pastors during a time of transition. If you would like more information about our services, please visit our website or contact us.
What other steps do you think are important for church leadership to take when communicating a pastor is being let go? Let us know at talk@pastoraltransitions.com.
podcast transcript
After going through his own pastoral transition out of ministry, Matt Davis learned the difficulty of this season and is seeking to bring grace and healing to ministries by bringing empathy and wisdom in this space. He lives in beautiful Lexington, Kentucky with his wife Marilee, and their three kids Noah, Jed, and Karis, along with multiple animals.
The decision to let a pastor go is never an easy one. But once the decision has been made, it's important to handle the situation with grace, dignity, and respect. After all, this is a person's livelihood we're talking about.
We will say from the outset that there are a variety of reasons why a church might need to let a pastor go. In some cases, it might be due to financial reasons, while in others, it might be due to moral failings or differences in vision for the future.
Whatever the reason, there are certain key steps that church leadership must take when communicating a pastor is being let go. How this is done can make all the difference in the world. It sets the tone for how the pastor will be perceived by the congregation, as well as how the church will be perceived by the community.
Remember your church and church staff are paying close attention in these difficult situations and will naturally connect the treatment of the outgoing pastor to how they, as a parishioner, might be treated in the future. When people do not feel safe in community, they will often go one of two ways:
Performance: If they feel like their job is on the line, they will likely go into overdrive to prove themselves and their value to the organization. This often happens in churches when staff feels like they need to take sides or prove their loyalty.
Protection: The other reaction people have is to hunker down, keep their heads down, not make any waves, and just try to ride it out until things blow over. This is often the case with churches going through a difficult season.
Neither are healthy reactions and will only serve to further divide the church. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, both responses are versions of hiding and are born out of fear. The key for church leaders is to help people feel safe so they can do their jobs effectively during these difficult times. Utilizing these steps brings greater clarity and unity to a church in an otherwise chaotic time.
1. Pray for guidance.
This is probably the most important step of all. It might seem like a no-brainer, but it's important to remember that prayer should be the foundation of all our decisions as Christians. We need to pray for wisdom and guidance as we make this difficult decision, and we need to pray for the pastor and their family who will be affected. Prayer unites and grounds us as a church family, and it gives us the strength to move forward.
2. Put together a transition package for the pastor.
There are two areas to consider in terms of creating a transition package for the outgoing pastor.
Financial Transition: A severance package is something that should be done in consultation with your church's legal counsel. Hopefully your church has already developed a policy regarding severance. Be fair and generous in your severance, keeping in mind that this person will likely be looking for another job soon as well as the difficult road for transitioning pastors in general. If at all possible, try to work with the pastor on what would be an ideal severance package so that they can provide for their family during this difficult time.
Emotional Transition: This is an area where churches often drop the ball. A pastor who has been let go from their church is going through a very difficult time emotionally. There will be feelings of shame, rejection, and even depression. It's important to be sensitive to these emotions and to provide resources for the pastor to help them through this tough time. Unfortunately, many pastors feel like they have nowhere to turn when they are facing these kinds of challenges. As a church leader, you have the opportunity to be a source of hope and encouragement for the pastor during this difficult time. This is where engaging Pastoral Transitions to serve the outgoing pastor and their family in the areas of a Career pivot, Coaching, and Counseling will be beneficial.
3. Meet with the pastor privately to break the news.
This is not a conversation that should be had over email or in front of other people. Be respectful and compassionate in your delivery. Especially if you are entering a situation where news of their release will come as a surprise, give them time to process the information and ask any questions they might have.
We suggest starting small and having the conversation open up to a larger group if necessary. No one wants to walk into a boardroom and be blindsided by the news in front of a large group of leadership. Because of the friendships in the room, there will likely be shame and blame that will come out if someone is caught off guard. This is a time for everyone to be on the same page and work from a place of unity, not division.
4. Give the pastor time to process the news and say goodbye to the congregation.
There are certain situations that demand an immediate resignation, and there are others that allow for a more gentle transition. It's important to consider what is best for both the pastor and the congregation.
In many cases, it might be beneficial to give the pastor some time to say goodbye to their congregation in a way that is respectful and dignified. Depending on what the conditions are concerning their release, you might even consider allowing them to preach their final sermon.
But also be aware of how you are processing the transition. When the transition is prompted by a moral failure, there could be anger, disappointment, and even a sense of betrayal. Even in situations where anger is justified, it's important to be mindful of how you express it and to whom you express it.
Time is a buffer that allows us to process our emotions and to act out of wisdom instead of reacting out of emotion.
5. Work with the pastor to develop a communication plan.
It's important that everyone is on the same page about what will be said and how it will be said. Be sensitive to the fact that this will be a difficult message for many people to hear. The news that a pastor is being let go from their church can come as quite a shock to the congregation. It can be difficult to know what to say or how to say it.
As a church leader, it is important to be thoughtful and prayerful in your communication so that the body of Christ can remain united. Be as honest as possible about why the decision was made while maintaining the privacy and dignity of the outgoing pastor.
Again, this is a difficult conversation, but it's important, to be honest about why the pastor is being let go. Vagueness will only serve to create more rumors and speculation. Be upfront and truthful about the situation while also maintaining a spirit of grace and compassion.
6. Celebrate what God has done through the pastor.
Even though the pastor is no longer going to be serving in a leadership role at your church, it's important to celebrate what God has done through them during their time of service. To the extent possible, make it public and make it a priority.
This is a time to be gracious and thankful for all that the pastor has done for your church. If there are specific things that you are thankful for, make sure to mention them.
This is also a good time to encourage other members of the congregation to express their gratitude to the pastor for their service. Leverage those in your congregation with gifts of encouragement to write letters, bring meals, or otherwise serve the pastor and their family during this time.
This is a difficult transition for everyone involved, so it's important to be as supportive as possible. As a leadership team, you can help buffer the situation through a number of ways such as writing a letter of recommendation, having a going away party, or even hosting a farewell service. Whatever you do, make sure that it is something that celebrates the contributions of the pastor during their time of service at your church.
7. Help the pastor transition out of their role gracefully.
In the immediate, there is a lot of emotion and pressure for everyone involved. We suggest taking a long-term view of a short-term situation. What this means is that while it's natural to want to quickly move on from this difficult situation, "do what needs to be done and move on," it's important to take the time to do things well. This is a difficult time for the outgoing pastor and their family. They need your support and grace as they transition out of their role.
Fast forward to how you will feel one year out, five years out, and ten years out. How you handle this situation today will have an impact on your relationship with the pastor and their family down the road, as well as your church family.
8. Be prepared for pushback.
When you work with people, the adage is true that you can make some of the people happy some of the time, but you can't make all of the people happy all of the time. When it comes to making a change in leadership at your church, this is especially true.
There will be those who are pleased with the decision and those who are not. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who is unhappy with the decision.
Listening in this season is more important than ever. If you have done your due diligence and prayerfully considered the decision to let the pastor go, then trust that God is leading you and be confident in your decision. The key is to remain firm in your conviction that this is the best decision for the church and to move forward with grace.
As a personal encouragement during these difficult times, it is helpful to remind yourself why this decision needed to be made in the first place and know that in the future, everyone will be better off because of it, even the outgoing pastor.
If the church or the position was not a fit, releasing them is actually a kind thing to do. If there was a moral failure of some kind, setting the pastor in the path of the Divine and His restoration is the best thing you can do. If the letting go of the pastor was for financial reasons, remember that it is always better to be financially healthy and have a solid future than to maintain the status quo and risk other fallout later.
There will be many people who want to give you advice on how to handle this situation. Some of it will be good, and some of it will be bad. The key is to sift through all of the advice, prayerfully consider what is best for your church, and then move forward with confidence.
9. Keep lines of communication open.
Once the pastor has transitioned out of their role, it's important to stay in touch. By engaging a ministry like Pastoral Transitions that will be walking with the transitioning pastor for their future steps, you have simplified your role to simply be one of encouragement and friendship.
Schedule regular check-ins with the pastor to see how they are doing. These can be quarterly, bi-annual, or even annually. The important thing is to keep the lines of communication open so that you can continue to support the pastor and their family during this difficult time. Whether it is spoken or not, they will want to know that you care about them and that you are still there for them, even though they are no longer in a leadership role at your church.
10. Don't forget to check in with the spouse and family.
The spouse and family will likely be going through a lot of different emotions as they adjust to this new season in their life. They have likely spent a season both in the spotlight and in the shadows.
The Spotlight: When you are the spouse of someone in ministry, you are often in the spotlight. You are expected to attend all the church functions, be involved in your spouse's ministry, and generally be a supportive partner.
The Shadows: Wherever there is a spotlight, there is also a shadow. This is especially true as the spouse of a pastor. Your spouse is busy with “church stuff,” and you can feel like you are on the back burner. You can feel like your needs are not being met, and your relationship with your spouse can suffer.
This transition can be especially difficult for the family because they are losing their place in the spotlight and may feel like they are being pushed into the shadows. It is important to check in with them, see how they are doing, and let them know that they are still loved and valued members of the church family.
Especially when it comes to the spouse, they will likely be defensive and protective of their family. In some cases, they may even be angry with the church. Regardless of what they are feeling, don't let that keep you from checking in.
If there are specific things that you can do to help them during this transition, make sure to do them. This might include offering financial assistance, helping to find a new job, or providing counseling resources.
Don't ever assume that all of the communication is taking place through the transitioning pastor.
Many times it might be best to have the spouse of someone in church leadership, like a pastor or elder's wife, come alongside the family during this time. But we would also caution that this does not preclude church leadership from also checking in and offering support.
Stay the Course and Build the Church
The decision to let a pastor go is never an easy one. There will always be difficult conversations and hurt feelings. But if it is done with grace, compassion, and wisdom, it can be a time of growth for both the church and the pastor.
What this transition means for them will be different for each family, so it's important to take the time to check in with them and see how they are doing. This is a time when they will need the support of their church family more than ever.
For some families, this may be a time to move on to another church. For others, it may mean staying put and weathering the storm. Either way, it's important to be there for them and offer whatever support you can.
Pastoral Transitions exists to help churches and pastors through this difficult time. We provide resources, coaching, and consulting to both churches and pastors during a time of transition. If you would like more information about our services, please visit our website or contact us.
What other steps do you think are important for church leadership to take when communicating a pastor is being let go? Let us know at talk@pastoraltransitions.com.
VIDEO transcript
The decision to let a pastor go is never an easy one. But once the decision has been made, it's important to handle the situation with grace, dignity, and respect. After all, this is a person's livelihood we're talking about.
We will say from the outset that there are a variety of reasons why a church might need to let a pastor go. In some cases, it might be due to financial reasons, while in others, it might be due to moral failings or differences in vision for the future.
Whatever the reason, there are certain key steps that church leadership must take when communicating a pastor is being let go. How this is done can make all the difference in the world. It sets the tone for how the pastor will be perceived by the congregation, as well as how the church will be perceived by the community.
Remember your church and church staff are paying close attention in these difficult situations and will naturally connect the treatment of the outgoing pastor to how they, as a parishioner, might be treated in the future. When people do not feel safe in community, they will often go one of two ways:
Performance: If they feel like their job is on the line, they will likely go into overdrive to prove themselves and their value to the organization. This often happens in churches when staff feels like they need to take sides or prove their loyalty.
Protection: The other reaction people have is to hunker down, keep their heads down, not make any waves, and just try to ride it out until things blow over. This is often the case with churches going through a difficult season.
Neither are healthy reactions and will only serve to further divide the church. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, both responses are versions of hiding and are born out of fear. The key for church leaders is to help people feel safe so they can do their jobs effectively during these difficult times. Utilizing these steps brings greater clarity and unity to a church in an otherwise chaotic time.
1. Pray for guidance.
This is probably the most important step of all. It might seem like a no-brainer, but it's important to remember that prayer should be the foundation of all our decisions as Christians. We need to pray for wisdom and guidance as we make this difficult decision, and we need to pray for the pastor and their family who will be affected. Prayer unites and grounds us as a church family, and it gives us the strength to move forward.
2. Put together a transition package for the pastor.
There are two areas to consider in terms of creating a transition package for the outgoing pastor.
Financial Transition: A severance package is something that should be done in consultation with your church's legal counsel. Hopefully your church has already developed a policy regarding severance. Be fair and generous in your severance, keeping in mind that this person will likely be looking for another job soon as well as the difficult road for transitioning pastors in general. If at all possible, try to work with the pastor on what would be an ideal severance package so that they can provide for their family during this difficult time.
Emotional Transition: This is an area where churches often drop the ball. A pastor who has been let go from their church is going through a very difficult time emotionally. There will be feelings of shame, rejection, and even depression. It's important to be sensitive to these emotions and to provide resources for the pastor to help them through this tough time. Unfortunately, many pastors feel like they have nowhere to turn when they are facing these kinds of challenges. As a church leader, you have the opportunity to be a source of hope and encouragement for the pastor during this difficult time. This is where engaging Pastoral Transitions to serve the outgoing pastor and their family in the areas of a Career pivot, Coaching, and Counseling will be beneficial.
3. Meet with the pastor privately to break the news.
This is not a conversation that should be had over email or in front of other people. Be respectful and compassionate in your delivery. Especially if you are entering a situation where news of their release will come as a surprise, give them time to process the information and ask any questions they might have.
We suggest starting small and having the conversation open up to a larger group if necessary. No one wants to walk into a boardroom and be blindsided by the news in front of a large group of leadership. Because of the friendships in the room, there will likely be shame and blame that will come out if someone is caught off guard. This is a time for everyone to be on the same page and work from a place of unity, not division.
4. Give the pastor time to process the news and say goodbye to the congregation.
There are certain situations that demand an immediate resignation, and there are others that allow for a more gentle transition. It's important to consider what is best for both the pastor and the congregation.
In many cases, it might be beneficial to give the pastor some time to say goodbye to their congregation in a way that is respectful and dignified. Depending on what the conditions are concerning their release, you might even consider allowing them to preach their final sermon.
But also be aware of how you are processing the transition. When the transition is prompted by a moral failure, there could be anger, disappointment, and even a sense of betrayal. Even in situations where anger is justified, it's important to be mindful of how you express it and to whom you express it.
Time is a buffer that allows us to process our emotions and to act out of wisdom instead of reacting out of emotion.
5. Work with the pastor to develop a communication plan.
It's important that everyone is on the same page about what will be said and how it will be said. Be sensitive to the fact that this will be a difficult message for many people to hear. The news that a pastor is being let go from their church can come as quite a shock to the congregation. It can be difficult to know what to say or how to say it.
As a church leader, it is important to be thoughtful and prayerful in your communication so that the body of Christ can remain united. Be as honest as possible about why the decision was made while maintaining the privacy and dignity of the outgoing pastor.
Again, this is a difficult conversation, but it's important, to be honest about why the pastor is being let go. Vagueness will only serve to create more rumors and speculation. Be upfront and truthful about the situation while also maintaining a spirit of grace and compassion.
6. Celebrate what God has done through the pastor.
Even though the pastor is no longer going to be serving in a leadership role at your church, it's important to celebrate what God has done through them during their time of service. To the extent possible, make it public and make it a priority.
This is a time to be gracious and thankful for all that the pastor has done for your church. If there are specific things that you are thankful for, make sure to mention them.
This is also a good time to encourage other members of the congregation to express their gratitude to the pastor for their service. Leverage those in your congregation with gifts of encouragement to write letters, bring meals, or otherwise serve the pastor and their family during this time.
This is a difficult transition for everyone involved, so it's important to be as supportive as possible. As a leadership team, you can help buffer the situation through a number of ways such as writing a letter of recommendation, having a going away party, or even hosting a farewell service. Whatever you do, make sure that it is something that celebrates the contributions of the pastor during their time of service at your church.
7. Help the pastor transition out of their role gracefully.
In the immediate, there is a lot of emotion and pressure for everyone involved. We suggest taking a long-term view of a short-term situation. What this means is that while it's natural to want to quickly move on from this difficult situation, "do what needs to be done and move on," it's important to take the time to do things well. This is a difficult time for the outgoing pastor and their family. They need your support and grace as they transition out of their role.
Fast forward to how you will feel one year out, five years out, and ten years out. How you handle this situation today will have an impact on your relationship with the pastor and their family down the road, as well as your church family.
8. Be prepared for pushback.
When you work with people, the adage is true that you can make some of the people happy some of the time, but you can't make all of the people happy all of the time. When it comes to making a change in leadership at your church, this is especially true.
There will be those who are pleased with the decision and those who are not. No matter what you do, there will always be someone who is unhappy with the decision.
Listening in this season is more important than ever. If you have done your due diligence and prayerfully considered the decision to let the pastor go, then trust that God is leading you and be confident in your decision. The key is to remain firm in your conviction that this is the best decision for the church and to move forward with grace.
As a personal encouragement during these difficult times, it is helpful to remind yourself why this decision needed to be made in the first place and know that in the future, everyone will be better off because of it, even the outgoing pastor.
If the church or the position was not a fit, releasing them is actually a kind thing to do. If there was a moral failure of some kind, setting the pastor in the path of the Divine and His restoration is the best thing you can do. If the letting go of the pastor was for financial reasons, remember that it is always better to be financially healthy and have a solid future than to maintain the status quo and risk other fallout later.
There will be many people who want to give you advice on how to handle this situation. Some of it will be good, and some of it will be bad. The key is to sift through all of the advice, prayerfully consider what is best for your church, and then move forward with confidence.
9. Keep lines of communication open.
Once the pastor has transitioned out of their role, it's important to stay in touch. By engaging a ministry like Pastoral Transitions that will be walking with the transitioning pastor for their future steps, you have simplified your role to simply be one of encouragement and friendship.
Schedule regular check-ins with the pastor to see how they are doing. These can be quarterly, bi-annual, or even annually. The important thing is to keep the lines of communication open so that you can continue to support the pastor and their family during this difficult time. Whether it is spoken or not, they will want to know that you care about them and that you are still there for them, even though they are no longer in a leadership role at your church.
10. Don't forget to check in with the spouse and family.
The spouse and family will likely be going through a lot of different emotions as they adjust to this new season in their life. They have likely spent a season both in the spotlight and in the shadows.
The Spotlight: When you are the spouse of someone in ministry, you are often in the spotlight. You are expected to attend all the church functions, be involved in your spouse's ministry, and generally be a supportive partner.
The Shadows: Wherever there is a spotlight, there is also a shadow. This is especially true as the spouse of a pastor. Your spouse is busy with “church stuff,” and you can feel like you are on the back burner. You can feel like your needs are not being met, and your relationship with your spouse can suffer.
This transition can be especially difficult for the family because they are losing their place in the spotlight and may feel like they are being pushed into the shadows. It is important to check in with them, see how they are doing, and let them know that they are still loved and valued members of the church family.
Especially when it comes to the spouse, they will likely be defensive and protective of their family. In some cases, they may even be angry with the church. Regardless of what they are feeling, don't let that keep you from checking in.
If there are specific things that you can do to help them during this transition, make sure to do them. This might include offering financial assistance, helping to find a new job, or providing counseling resources.
Don't ever assume that all of the communication is taking place through the transitioning pastor.
Many times it might be best to have the spouse of someone in church leadership, like a pastor or elder's wife, come alongside the family during this time. But we would also caution that this does not preclude church leadership from also checking in and offering support.
Stay the Course and Build the Church
The decision to let a pastor go is never an easy one. There will always be difficult conversations and hurt feelings. But if it is done with grace, compassion, and wisdom, it can be a time of growth for both the church and the pastor.
What this transition means for them will be different for each family, so it's important to take the time to check in with them and see how they are doing. This is a time when they will need the support of their church family more than ever.
For some families, this may be a time to move on to another church. For others, it may mean staying put and weathering the storm. Either way, it's important to be there for them and offer whatever support you can.
Pastoral Transitions exists to help churches and pastors through this difficult time. We provide resources, coaching, and consulting to both churches and pastors during a time of transition. If you would like more information about our services, please visit our website or contact us.
What other steps do you think are important for church leadership to take when communicating a pastor is being let go? Let us know at talk@pastoraltransitions.com.
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After going through his own pastoral transition out of ministry, Matt Davis learned the difficulty of this season and is seeking to bring grace and healing to ministries by bringing empathy and wisdom in this space. He lives in beautiful Lexington, Kentucky with his wife Marilee, and their three kids Noah, Jed, and Karis, along with multiple animals.
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