Many in the church are playing catch-up right now when it comes to understanding and meeting the needs of the singles in their local body. And that’s not a dig at the church!

There’s a growing need coming from singles who are really looking to connect with one another both socially and spiritually, yet not finding the places to do that.  And with more and more single Christian churchgoers than ever before - it’s time we did better for our unwed brothers and sisters in Christ!

For those who need a place to start, here are some practical steps for any church or home group looking to support singles in their area by starting a singles ministry. 

6 Steps to Starting a Singles Ministry

1. Find your leadership team.

The truth is one pastor doesn’t have time to do it all. We encourage you to appoint someone within church leadership to take ownership over your singles ministry. Or better yet, let people self-select to lead your singles group to help coordinate events, get the word out and invite others. 

Big budget or not, there are people willing to coordinate these types of events and groups because they know what it's like to go without and most likely - they have a heart to gather people!

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2.  Make it known you are running a singles ministry.

Get the word out there! Talk about it in church, share it on social media, shout it from the rooftops, send a messenger pigeon. Just kidding. But truly, if no one knows you are starting a singles ministry - that isn’t going to help anybody. 

Our pro tip? Add it as a mainstay on your website because the people searching online nearby (yes that’s what we do these days) will actually be able to find it that way. Including your singles ministry online could also help be a decision maker for people who are looking for the right church to join. 

3. Equip your group for healthy lifelong relationships, during and past their single season.

We love this quote by Jill Monaco Ministries about how a singles ministry can be like preventative medicine in the church body - and we agree.

“I believe that if we focus on helping singles get healthy and whole spiritually and emotionally we will see a decline in divorce and an increase of strong family units. What if we looked at singles ministry like preventative medicine so we avoided the triage that happens in marriage ministry?” - Jill Monaco, So You Want to Start a Singles Ministry?

Start teaching on the things that matter the most to people walking through singleness. That includes how to date but also how to stand on their own two feet and how to make deep connections with friends and community. The digital age makes it too easy for isolation and people are hungry for the truth and to connect with one another. 

What better way to learn and grow with others than to get discipled through a counsel of their peers? Encourage them to deepen relationships, serve and put their faith to action together and ultimately, to do life together. 

4. Sponsor, host or connect singles to conferences, retreats, events, small groups, etc  geared towards them. 

Right now we’re willing to bet most of this type of stuff is geared towards married couples, which is great - don’t get us wrong. But it’s also leaving out an entire demographic of people. 

Hear us out: the dating world is not like it used to be and our church programs and events have to evolve to support that. Dating apps can be helpful, but we’d argue they have also inadvertently made it so much harder for people to meet in organic ways in person.

What are the alternatives? Singles in your church might remain isolated or turn to unhealthy ways to connect with others. 

5. Make it fun, make it about friendship, make it about connection with self, others and God.‍

Making room and time for events people actually enjoy will help foster healthy relationships, including friendships for singles. And that goes a long way to help reduce loneliness, isolation and the temptation we all feel, if we’re being honest, to fall back into old ways of doing things and meeting people.

It doesn’t need to be overbearing, cheesy or awkward. Do real life stuff like hiking, going to the movies, exploring your area or gathering for dinner.  

Another pro tip? A good way to avoid events nobody wants to go to is to let the group share their thoughts for outings they consider fun and take votes on the most popular ideas.

6. Consider looking outside of your church for support. 

Here’s another important point to consider. Just as one pastor can’t do it all, your church may not be able to do it all either.

“Just as the local church can’t serve all the needs of married people, it can’t serve all the needs of singles. So ministries outside the church are needed and useful for marriage, singleness or other life circumstances.” Jill Monaco, So You Want to Start a Singles Ministry?

Is your church looking for a new way for singles in your area to meet one another? Have you considered connecting singles in your church to a Christian Dating coach? (psst..what’s a Christian Dating Coach!? It’s someone who will walk alongside single believers to help them become healthy, Godly singles and give practical dating advice so they can date with confidence during their dating journey!) 

Check out IYKYK Christian Dating Mixers on Instagram! We partner with local churches to host singles mixers and I run a Christian Dating Coaching practice!
Many in the church are playing catch-up right now when it comes to understanding and meeting the needs of the singles in their local body. And that’s not a dig at the church!